FK Season 2, Episode 6 “Capital Offense”
Jan. 13th, 2024 09:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
switchbladeeyesFrom the "they can't all be winners, even in season 2" files, we have “Capital Offense.” It's been a strong run until now. But what goes up must come down. It’s not the worst episode, but that's not exactly a mark in its favor. The episode makes less and less sense the more you watch it.
(And yes, I am taking episodes slightly out of order. I will be doing “Forward into the Past” after this one. For fan fiction reasons, I needed some inspirationally awful LaCroix and my brain said, “Well, there’s always the ‘Capital Offense’ flashbacks.” So here we are.)
We open on Nick and Schanke staking out a parking garage in search of a young woman, who quickly makes the cops and steals a car to flee. Nick uses his vampire powers right off the bat, intercepting the car and letting it hit him. To her credit, the young woman doesn't just run over his body. She actually stops the car and runs to Nick’s aid. But he's there to arrest her while she protests her innocence and begs for help.
The young woman turns out to be a notorious escaped fugitive from the United States named Laura Garfield, sentenced to death for ax murdering her husband. Or as Schanke colorfully explains it, “Move over Lorena Bobbitt. Compared to this, what Lorena did was a manicure.”
Our guys interrogate her to try and figure out why TF she would flee to Toronto of all places. (“Maybe it's the climate” lol). She proclaims that she is innocent and some dude named Danny Carruthers killed her husband for drug money and framed her for it. She’s then like, no no, I'm not here to find Carruthers, he's in Texas, but idk, he has a buddy named Briese here so maybe Carruthers is here after all, oh and Briese gave Carruthers an alibi for the murder, but I'm totes not here for them, I'm innocent I tell you! Mmmmkay. That's a bit too much coincidence for me, personally.
But Nick’s a soft touch here and says they'll look into it. Schanke looks at Nick like he's grown two heads because WTF. We quickly journey to flashback land where we see why Nick is committing to look into something that really isn't the Toronto PD’s business: Laura looks just like a nun that gave Nick shelter when he was being pursued in the daytime by townsfolk some centuries back in France.
One cool thing about this episode is the reintroduction of use of the same actor in the modern story and the flashback story (last seen in season 1’s “I Love You to Death.”) It is a neat device to connect Nick’s modern present with his historic past. Here, Laura and the nun are played by the same actress.
And a mega bright spot in this episode is LaCroix returning to the radio airwaves as the Nightcrawler, airing deliciously creepy monologues as one-sided personal conversations with Nick for the whole city to hear. Nick, who seems totally unable to help himself when it comes to letting LaCroix get under his skin, tunes in.
Nick goes to the coroner’s office just to chat with Nat where they talk about the death penalty while Nat fixes a pipe clogged with the most 90s pipe clogging object ever, a scrunchie. Nick opposes the death penalty. And also believes Laura. Nat’s like, wait, what? Why are we talking about Laura Garfeld? Nick’s all, oh, I dunno, I just feel like a convicted murderer on the lam is someone I can trust, there’s “just something about her.”
And Nat tells him to run with that feeling. Record scratch. What!? Maybe Nick should also send all his money to the displaced Nigerian prince that keeps emailing him. Sigh.
Nick then presents Laura’s story to Captain Cohen, who quite respectfully is like, are you for real right now, Knight? But if he wants to poke around on the matter since they don’t have another case right now, fine. U.S. Marshals will be picking up Laura the next night though.
Nick’s investigation is putting a MAJOR cramp in Schanke’s sex life because Cohen denied him time off, apparently not wanting Nick to do the investigation solo even though Cohen does not think this is a worthwhile investigation. Apparently, Schanke had planned to take Myra fishing and she’s got some kind of fisherman kink. Get it girl, bait that hook.
Nick visits Laura in lockup to let her know he’s looking into Briese. She’s effusively grateful. She says her husband, while he was a drug dealer, saved her life and kept her off drugs. She had no reason to kill him. She’s very earnest and our guileless Nick believes her.
Later, in the car, Schanke’s like, she’s playing you. But Nick will not be swayed as he travels back to flashback land where the sweet French nun offers to help Nick. Another nun knocks on the door and is all, so the townsfolk are here hunting for a dangerous fugitive. Know anything about that? In the background, Nick mega vamps out, eyes glowing red. It is time for rage and snacks. But sweet French nun is like, nope, can't say I have. Nick gets some chill and decides not to rip out any throats as the nun offers to shelter him until night.
Meanwhile, Nick and Schanke arrive at Briese’s place to discover he has been ax murdered. That certainty is Laura’s MO. Or maybe Danny Carruthers’ MO if Laura is telling the truth. Or maybe it was someone else. I dunno, the man's a drug dealer. He probably had rivals.
Cohen and Schanke assume it was Laura, but Nick does not. And I'm kind of with Nick at this point in as much as, yeah, you're going to need more than an ax murder to pin this on Laura. Cohen tells them to look into it more.
And we get some more Nightcrawler, huzzah! He's telling a caller that the Nightcrawler cares about you (NICK) even if you feel like hot garbage about yourself (NICK). Because the Nightcrawler will always welcome you (NICK) and wants you (NICK) to love him. This time Schanke is in the car and has had it with this icky broadcast. He asks what I'm also wondering, "Why do you listen to that creep?" And Nick's just all, "It's an acquired taste." But seriously, WHY?
The conversation shifts gears and Schanke is walking through what the motives could be for someone other than Laura to kill Briese. Nick is the one entrenched in his assumptions at this point and is like, it was Carruthers. But what is his basis for saying that? Nick doesn't answer because we're whisked back to flashback land.
LaCroix is now at the convent and wakes up Nick to announce his presence. He says he also needed shelter from the sun. So, like, has he been there all day? It was light out already when Nick arrived. This isn't the last time LaCroix will mysteriously just kind of show up in the daytime. Anyway, I guess we have to assume he was already there and just in a different room. But he can't resist picking at Nick. Apparently, something previously has gone down between them and Nick doesn't want to be with LaCroix anymore. ("I meant what I said, LaCroix. My association with you is finished, over. I want nothing more to do with you.") I'm sure that is going over well with LaCroix as a reasonable person who respects boundaries. LOL, j/k, he is 100% not that person.
LaCroix's like, maybe I should have a feast while I'm here. But Nick says, "I won't let you" and "She trusted me." Way to reveal your cards, Nick, yeesh. LaCroix's all, meh, I wasn't really hungry anyway and nuns give me indigestion. He assures Nick that the nuns are safe and when night comes, he and Nick will split up for realsies. Nick decides to trust LaCroix because… I have no idea.
Back in the present, Nick and Schanke are tracking down leads based on Briese's contacts. And Nick starts to get a skosh suspicious that maybe Laura isn't on the up and up. Looking at some of the, you know, evidence from the trial, it sure doesn't look great (supposed alibi refused to testify for Laura, Laura's fingerprints on the ax, no evidence that Laura had been using to ax for legitimate reasons, i.e. chopping wood). But Laura is adamant that she was set up. And that she didn't kill Briese. He was her only hope of clearing her name so why would she? It was Carruthers!
Meanwhile, the clock is a ticking on Laura's extradition. But it's daybreak so Nick has to go home so he can play mournful tunes on the piano and take us back to flashback land. Sweet French nun has brought Nick some food that he pretends to eat. LaCroix is nowhere to be seen, which can't be good. The nun has kept one possession, against her vows, a music box that plays "Moonlight Sonata," which ties in nicely to Nick's playing on the piano a moment before. Nick tries to understand why she is helping him. And she's basically like Luke Skywalker and can "sense" that there is some good in Nick. He's grateful for this, but when she leaves the room, he becomes perturbed and throws the plate of food she brought. I'm not sure what he's upset about here, TBH.
The next night in the present, Nick is still trying to track down Carruthers. He gives Schanke a lead and Schanke actually finds Carruthers. Schanke calls Nick… who is transporting Laura to the extradition location. In the Caddy. With the top down. There's a uniformed officer in the car, but that's really as far as security goes
I'm sorry, but WHAT??
Were no secure squad cars available? To transport an international fugitive? How can they be just cruising around Toronto in a classic convertible with its top down? Are they on their way to Thunder Road to race for pinks against the T-Birds? This is bananas. FK, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief enough to watch a show about a vampire cop, the least you could do is not make the cop part so outlandish.
Annnnway, Schanke tells Nick he's found Carruthers and Laura begs Nick to take her there so she can identify him. (But like… why would this convince Nick?? They don't need Laura in order to identify this guy.) Nick detours and the uniformed officer rightly complains that he is "violating procedure." But this is not the first and nor will it be the last time that Nick just does whatever the hell he wants. He even goes so far as to turn off his police radio so he doesn't have to hear from his boss.
Back in flashback land, LaCroix has murdered the sweet French nun. Because of course he has. Gotta rub that in Nick's face too. He's like, she only trusted you and believed in you because she didn't know what you were. Everything good she thought about you was based on that deception. LaCroix's really going off on one of his fun rants here. But it gets weird. He tells Nick trust is a human concept and therefore flawed and doomed. But also, Nick should reserve his trust for "your own kind."
I am not following. At all. So Nick should trust LaCroix because LaCroix is a fellow vampire? Nick did though and LaCroix totally violated that trust, which means Nick should not trust him. And also, he shouldn't trust him because trust is a human thing? I'm so confused. Usually, I can at least intellectually grasp the train of thought in LaCroix's cruel little lessons. But not so here. What on earth is the point he is trying to make? Maybe he's just especially unhinged because he’s salty that Nick broke up with him.
Meanwhile, forensics comes back and Laura's prints are on the ax that killed Briese. That's some pretty damning evidence right there.
Laura manages to escape the Caddy because it's an absurd police transport. She attacks the uniformed officer (I'm not sure if she kills her) and gets the officer's gun and is able to unlock her cuffs. She interrupts Nick and Schanke's interrogation of Carruthers and holds Carruthers at gunpoint. For some reason, neither Schanke nor Nick take her out immediately. Laura wants Carruthers to "pay." He says he helped her kill her husband, but this seems like a dubious confession under the circumstances. Laura shoots Carruthers (but the bullet doesn't kill him) and then turns to shoot at the detectives, who shoot her. What a fucking mess. Laura dies in Nick's arms thanking him for everything because "I couldn't have done it without you."
Done… it? Done what? What is she talking about? What exactly has she done? She hasn't cleared her name. She hasn't taken out her enemy.
Lucky for Nick, he's got the powers of hypnosis and probably got a really strong labor union because otherwise, his ass would be so fired for this trainwreck. We don't actually see any fallout from the shooting though. Because there are literally never any professional consequences when Nick is a total police screw up.
The end scene is just kind of weird. Sometimes I feel like this show does not know how to end episodes. We get to have Nick back home kicking himself for trusting someone and Nat trying to be like, that's just how it goes sometimes, but it doesn't mean you should never trust. Nick's like, LaCroix was right. And he goes to drink some blood. Nat's like, bruh, no, you don't have to cut off your nose to spite your face. So he doesn't drink the blood. The end.
Okay, but like, what about all the police stuff?? I guess it was Laura who killed Briese? Because her prints were at the scene. Seems most likely. Why did she kill him? Because she's a psycho or was it vengeance because he really did frame her? Did Carruthers kill Laura's husband??? GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW FOR SURE.
At the end of the day, this all seemed like a rather pointless exercise in ruining Schanke's weekend. Hopefully, he can at least stop by Blockbuster and rent "A River Runs Through It" for Myra to salvage something of it.
(And yes, I am taking episodes slightly out of order. I will be doing “Forward into the Past” after this one. For fan fiction reasons, I needed some inspirationally awful LaCroix and my brain said, “Well, there’s always the ‘Capital Offense’ flashbacks.” So here we are.)
We open on Nick and Schanke staking out a parking garage in search of a young woman, who quickly makes the cops and steals a car to flee. Nick uses his vampire powers right off the bat, intercepting the car and letting it hit him. To her credit, the young woman doesn't just run over his body. She actually stops the car and runs to Nick’s aid. But he's there to arrest her while she protests her innocence and begs for help.
The young woman turns out to be a notorious escaped fugitive from the United States named Laura Garfield, sentenced to death for ax murdering her husband. Or as Schanke colorfully explains it, “Move over Lorena Bobbitt. Compared to this, what Lorena did was a manicure.”
Our guys interrogate her to try and figure out why TF she would flee to Toronto of all places. (“Maybe it's the climate” lol). She proclaims that she is innocent and some dude named Danny Carruthers killed her husband for drug money and framed her for it. She’s then like, no no, I'm not here to find Carruthers, he's in Texas, but idk, he has a buddy named Briese here so maybe Carruthers is here after all, oh and Briese gave Carruthers an alibi for the murder, but I'm totes not here for them, I'm innocent I tell you! Mmmmkay. That's a bit too much coincidence for me, personally.
But Nick’s a soft touch here and says they'll look into it. Schanke looks at Nick like he's grown two heads because WTF. We quickly journey to flashback land where we see why Nick is committing to look into something that really isn't the Toronto PD’s business: Laura looks just like a nun that gave Nick shelter when he was being pursued in the daytime by townsfolk some centuries back in France.
One cool thing about this episode is the reintroduction of use of the same actor in the modern story and the flashback story (last seen in season 1’s “I Love You to Death.”) It is a neat device to connect Nick’s modern present with his historic past. Here, Laura and the nun are played by the same actress.
And a mega bright spot in this episode is LaCroix returning to the radio airwaves as the Nightcrawler, airing deliciously creepy monologues as one-sided personal conversations with Nick for the whole city to hear. Nick, who seems totally unable to help himself when it comes to letting LaCroix get under his skin, tunes in.
Nick goes to the coroner’s office just to chat with Nat where they talk about the death penalty while Nat fixes a pipe clogged with the most 90s pipe clogging object ever, a scrunchie. Nick opposes the death penalty. And also believes Laura. Nat’s like, wait, what? Why are we talking about Laura Garfeld? Nick’s all, oh, I dunno, I just feel like a convicted murderer on the lam is someone I can trust, there’s “just something about her.”
And Nat tells him to run with that feeling. Record scratch. What!? Maybe Nick should also send all his money to the displaced Nigerian prince that keeps emailing him. Sigh.
Nick then presents Laura’s story to Captain Cohen, who quite respectfully is like, are you for real right now, Knight? But if he wants to poke around on the matter since they don’t have another case right now, fine. U.S. Marshals will be picking up Laura the next night though.
Nick’s investigation is putting a MAJOR cramp in Schanke’s sex life because Cohen denied him time off, apparently not wanting Nick to do the investigation solo even though Cohen does not think this is a worthwhile investigation. Apparently, Schanke had planned to take Myra fishing and she’s got some kind of fisherman kink. Get it girl, bait that hook.
Nick visits Laura in lockup to let her know he’s looking into Briese. She’s effusively grateful. She says her husband, while he was a drug dealer, saved her life and kept her off drugs. She had no reason to kill him. She’s very earnest and our guileless Nick believes her.
Later, in the car, Schanke’s like, she’s playing you. But Nick will not be swayed as he travels back to flashback land where the sweet French nun offers to help Nick. Another nun knocks on the door and is all, so the townsfolk are here hunting for a dangerous fugitive. Know anything about that? In the background, Nick mega vamps out, eyes glowing red. It is time for rage and snacks. But sweet French nun is like, nope, can't say I have. Nick gets some chill and decides not to rip out any throats as the nun offers to shelter him until night.
Meanwhile, Nick and Schanke arrive at Briese’s place to discover he has been ax murdered. That certainty is Laura’s MO. Or maybe Danny Carruthers’ MO if Laura is telling the truth. Or maybe it was someone else. I dunno, the man's a drug dealer. He probably had rivals.
Cohen and Schanke assume it was Laura, but Nick does not. And I'm kind of with Nick at this point in as much as, yeah, you're going to need more than an ax murder to pin this on Laura. Cohen tells them to look into it more.
And we get some more Nightcrawler, huzzah! He's telling a caller that the Nightcrawler cares about you (NICK) even if you feel like hot garbage about yourself (NICK). Because the Nightcrawler will always welcome you (NICK) and wants you (NICK) to love him. This time Schanke is in the car and has had it with this icky broadcast. He asks what I'm also wondering, "Why do you listen to that creep?" And Nick's just all, "It's an acquired taste." But seriously, WHY?
The conversation shifts gears and Schanke is walking through what the motives could be for someone other than Laura to kill Briese. Nick is the one entrenched in his assumptions at this point and is like, it was Carruthers. But what is his basis for saying that? Nick doesn't answer because we're whisked back to flashback land.
LaCroix is now at the convent and wakes up Nick to announce his presence. He says he also needed shelter from the sun. So, like, has he been there all day? It was light out already when Nick arrived. This isn't the last time LaCroix will mysteriously just kind of show up in the daytime. Anyway, I guess we have to assume he was already there and just in a different room. But he can't resist picking at Nick. Apparently, something previously has gone down between them and Nick doesn't want to be with LaCroix anymore. ("I meant what I said, LaCroix. My association with you is finished, over. I want nothing more to do with you.") I'm sure that is going over well with LaCroix as a reasonable person who respects boundaries. LOL, j/k, he is 100% not that person.
LaCroix's like, maybe I should have a feast while I'm here. But Nick says, "I won't let you" and "She trusted me." Way to reveal your cards, Nick, yeesh. LaCroix's all, meh, I wasn't really hungry anyway and nuns give me indigestion. He assures Nick that the nuns are safe and when night comes, he and Nick will split up for realsies. Nick decides to trust LaCroix because… I have no idea.
Back in the present, Nick and Schanke are tracking down leads based on Briese's contacts. And Nick starts to get a skosh suspicious that maybe Laura isn't on the up and up. Looking at some of the, you know, evidence from the trial, it sure doesn't look great (supposed alibi refused to testify for Laura, Laura's fingerprints on the ax, no evidence that Laura had been using to ax for legitimate reasons, i.e. chopping wood). But Laura is adamant that she was set up. And that she didn't kill Briese. He was her only hope of clearing her name so why would she? It was Carruthers!
Meanwhile, the clock is a ticking on Laura's extradition. But it's daybreak so Nick has to go home so he can play mournful tunes on the piano and take us back to flashback land. Sweet French nun has brought Nick some food that he pretends to eat. LaCroix is nowhere to be seen, which can't be good. The nun has kept one possession, against her vows, a music box that plays "Moonlight Sonata," which ties in nicely to Nick's playing on the piano a moment before. Nick tries to understand why she is helping him. And she's basically like Luke Skywalker and can "sense" that there is some good in Nick. He's grateful for this, but when she leaves the room, he becomes perturbed and throws the plate of food she brought. I'm not sure what he's upset about here, TBH.
The next night in the present, Nick is still trying to track down Carruthers. He gives Schanke a lead and Schanke actually finds Carruthers. Schanke calls Nick… who is transporting Laura to the extradition location. In the Caddy. With the top down. There's a uniformed officer in the car, but that's really as far as security goes
I'm sorry, but WHAT??
Were no secure squad cars available? To transport an international fugitive? How can they be just cruising around Toronto in a classic convertible with its top down? Are they on their way to Thunder Road to race for pinks against the T-Birds? This is bananas. FK, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief enough to watch a show about a vampire cop, the least you could do is not make the cop part so outlandish.
Annnnway, Schanke tells Nick he's found Carruthers and Laura begs Nick to take her there so she can identify him. (But like… why would this convince Nick?? They don't need Laura in order to identify this guy.) Nick detours and the uniformed officer rightly complains that he is "violating procedure." But this is not the first and nor will it be the last time that Nick just does whatever the hell he wants. He even goes so far as to turn off his police radio so he doesn't have to hear from his boss.
Back in flashback land, LaCroix has murdered the sweet French nun. Because of course he has. Gotta rub that in Nick's face too. He's like, she only trusted you and believed in you because she didn't know what you were. Everything good she thought about you was based on that deception. LaCroix's really going off on one of his fun rants here. But it gets weird. He tells Nick trust is a human concept and therefore flawed and doomed. But also, Nick should reserve his trust for "your own kind."
I am not following. At all. So Nick should trust LaCroix because LaCroix is a fellow vampire? Nick did though and LaCroix totally violated that trust, which means Nick should not trust him. And also, he shouldn't trust him because trust is a human thing? I'm so confused. Usually, I can at least intellectually grasp the train of thought in LaCroix's cruel little lessons. But not so here. What on earth is the point he is trying to make? Maybe he's just especially unhinged because he’s salty that Nick broke up with him.
Meanwhile, forensics comes back and Laura's prints are on the ax that killed Briese. That's some pretty damning evidence right there.
Laura manages to escape the Caddy because it's an absurd police transport. She attacks the uniformed officer (I'm not sure if she kills her) and gets the officer's gun and is able to unlock her cuffs. She interrupts Nick and Schanke's interrogation of Carruthers and holds Carruthers at gunpoint. For some reason, neither Schanke nor Nick take her out immediately. Laura wants Carruthers to "pay." He says he helped her kill her husband, but this seems like a dubious confession under the circumstances. Laura shoots Carruthers (but the bullet doesn't kill him) and then turns to shoot at the detectives, who shoot her. What a fucking mess. Laura dies in Nick's arms thanking him for everything because "I couldn't have done it without you."
Done… it? Done what? What is she talking about? What exactly has she done? She hasn't cleared her name. She hasn't taken out her enemy.
Lucky for Nick, he's got the powers of hypnosis and probably got a really strong labor union because otherwise, his ass would be so fired for this trainwreck. We don't actually see any fallout from the shooting though. Because there are literally never any professional consequences when Nick is a total police screw up.
The end scene is just kind of weird. Sometimes I feel like this show does not know how to end episodes. We get to have Nick back home kicking himself for trusting someone and Nat trying to be like, that's just how it goes sometimes, but it doesn't mean you should never trust. Nick's like, LaCroix was right. And he goes to drink some blood. Nat's like, bruh, no, you don't have to cut off your nose to spite your face. So he doesn't drink the blood. The end.
Okay, but like, what about all the police stuff?? I guess it was Laura who killed Briese? Because her prints were at the scene. Seems most likely. Why did she kill him? Because she's a psycho or was it vengeance because he really did frame her? Did Carruthers kill Laura's husband??? GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW FOR SURE.
At the end of the day, this all seemed like a rather pointless exercise in ruining Schanke's weekend. Hopefully, he can at least stop by Blockbuster and rent "A River Runs Through It" for Myra to salvage something of it.
